Clubs

About a year ago, we started a club night for all of the students to participate in.  The Team Leads assigned to each of the homes will sponsor a club.  Once the clubs are decided then the students get to pick which club they want to be in.  The clubs run from 8 to 12 weeks on Wednesday nights.  Currently, the girls' clubs are:  Glee Club, Color Guard,  Sports, Photography and Art Appreciation.  The boys' clubs are:  Martial Arts, Cooking, Fitness Conditioning, Weightlifting, Horses, Golf and Basketball.  This has become a great way for the students to "get a break" and it allows staff a chance to build relationships with students that they don't normally work with.

Potty Philosophy

The school building at Heritage is in the process of being remodeled. Yesterday as the old toilets were being taken out and the new ones installed, the following message was discovered, written on the inside of a tank lid:

Are we really happy on earth? If we truly were why would we have to bury our heads in a celestial sand and be told that there is a life better than this one when it is over but it will only come if we conform to societies standards.
Is that suspicious?

How long it has been there or who wrote it, is unknown. What we do know is that our potty philosopher was a deep thinker who as in past generations left his/her mark to be discovered by others. Some people like to think on their feet. Others on their seat. We welcome the diversity.

A Heritage Graduation

Heritage offers an individual graduation ceremony to each student who graduates.  As the parent of a child who graduated in a sea of hundreds of other students, I can truly appreciate how wonderful it is to have such a personalized graduation where the accomplishments of the individual student can be appreciated.  The student is able to select staff and other students to speak at the graduation.  Because the messages are so personal, these are very moving events.  Recently, one of the team leads for one of the homes spoke at a graduation and gave some words of advice that we really wanted to share.  The names of the staff and the student have been removed to protect their privacy, but much of this could apply to any staff-student relationship at Heritage.

We never thought this day would come.  We prayed for its quick delivery; crossed days off our calendars; counted hours, minutes and seconds....and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is because it means the leaving of a friend who has inspired me.  Helen Keller stated that "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened; vision cleared; ambition inspired and success achieved."

Your struggle has definitely not been in quiet in ease.  When you first got here, you had some anger and frustration to resolve.  If someone tried to give you feedback, even positive feedback, you had a hard time accepting it.  As I was preparing for this talk, I came across "The Ten Truths About Marathon Achievement" by Hal Higden.  Today I would like to share these truths with you.  We all have the notion that life's not a track meet, it's a marathon.

• Truth 1:  Progressively longer runs will get you to the finish line.  Moment to moment, day by day, week by week, month by month, and you've strung these things together and here you are at the finish line.
• Truth 2:  Scheduling rest day is the key to staying healthy.  You worry so much about always having to be doing something...worried about being considered lazy.  It is okay to take time for yourself even to just nap.
• Truth 3:  Taking one step back allows you to take two steps forward.  Sometimes we need to take a step back to analyze where we're going and be able to push forward.
• Truth 4:  Speed training can be a double-edged sword.  Sometimes going too fast adds stress to already just getting through the task, but sometimes going fast offers that hope of a breakthrough.
• Truth 5:  Learning pace and learning to race are the two most critical skills.  Marathon racing is really about achieving personal bests as opposed to winning.  Life is like that, too.  Find your own pace and learn how to improve on your own achievements, regardless of others.  If you push yourself at someone else's pace, you'll crash and burn.  But sometimes, slowing down to someone else's pace can help them along and you still can achieve a personal best. 
• Truth 6:  Consistency, rather than spectacular workouts, is what counts in the long run.  It was easy to have good days or weeks in the beginning of your treatment, but what made you successful was making changes and maintaining those changes.
• Truth 7:  Nutrition is an oft-overlooked factor in marathon success.  We all know that you are a healthy eater.  I'm going to shift this away from food.  A balanced diet for life is what I'm talking about.  Feed your mind with good books.  Feed your body with good food and workouts, and feed your soul with adventure, good people, and moments that take your breath away.
• Truth 8:  Practice everything connected to the marathon, not just the running of it.  Basically, life is more than the day to day living.  Make sure you take time to enjoy all that life has to offer.
• Truth 9:  Tapering - reducing your training in order to be better rested for an upcoming big race - is both an art and a science.  Doing a little bit less before big challenges will allow damaged muscles to heal.  Sometimes we have the advantage of knowing when we're going to face challenge -- prepare appropriately.
• Truth 10:  You'll go only as far as your motivation will carry you.  Motivation has to come from within.  Your motivation has brought you to this day.  It's said if you want to succeed in the marathon, you have to pay the price.  You paid the price in hard work and positive choices and you have succeeded in your marathon at Heritage.

I'm so proud of you as is everybody that is here and as your parents are.  In closing, I'd like to read a poem that I got while working here at Heritage.  I don't know who wrote it, but I hope they don't mind that I tweaked it a bit.  It's called "Forever in Your Heart."

Although we're not your parents

We've cared for you each day

We've protected you and guided you

And watched you as you played

We saw each new accomplishment

We helped you grow and learn

We understood your language

We listened with concern

You came to us for comfort

And we helped you through your fears

You struggled with your issues

And you came to us in tears

No, we're not your parents,

But our roles have been just as strong

We each nurtured you and kept you safe

Though maybe not for long

Now the day has come

And we will have to part

But know that we care

And you're forever in our hearts

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Where Are They Now?
by: Samantha O’Brien
730 Days

730 days is how long it took for me to realize how much my life was worth. Heritage was the last resort for me before being sent away to a state mental hospital.

When I arrived at Heritage I was a very angry 13 year old kid. My childhood between the ages of seven and twelve were unbearable. I was stripped of my childhood when I was molested—not once but several times. When I was 13, before I came to Heritage I tried jumping off a bridge until a cop came and pulled me over. My father refused to believe he was my father. He always said he was not my dad, that he was only trying to be a dad to a little girl who did not have one. My mother would drink, smoke and bring home a different guy every night. Out of the 730 days at Heritage my mother called me maybe a handful of times and never once came to visit me. So was I angry? Absolutely. I had every right to be.

While at Heritage, I tried everything to hurt myself. First I would try to run away. Every time I was unsuccessful. I was caught each time. I would cut myself with anything. One time I grew out my fingernails then sharpened them to a point and used them to cut on myself. When I was in the Crisis Unit (Now called the Intensive Support Unit.) I would be put in the Protective Separation Room. (PSR) I would then take my socks off, tie them together and put them around my neck to try and choke myself. When the socks would be taken from me, I would then bang my head on the wall. When I would bang my head, staff would have to come and in and hold me so I wouldn’t hurt myself. Sometimes this would last for hours.

Once out of ISU I would find new ways to hurt myself. At one point I swallowed a piece of metal. I then went to the hospital to have it removed. When I got back to Heritage I started eating, screws, nails and other random stuff. Since I would continue to bang my head, I had to wear a hockey helmet with a cage on the front as well as hand restraints so I couldn’t cut myself with my fingernails. I looked like Hannibal Lector. It was pretty embarrassing, but for my own good.

I was not allowed to use silverware to eat with, only a plastic spoon. I was then allowed to take the helmet off, and take one hand out to eat. Other than that the helmet only came off to sleep and shower. Even then, one staff was assigned to watch just me. Over time I was able to take the helmet off, then have one hand free, then eventually everything came off.

Through therapy and help from Heritage staff, I was able to learn to love and respect myself. I have now learned the value of life. As of today I am a very productive member of society. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and am working towards another one in Sociology. I work Loss Prevention for Mason Retail Companies. If it was not for the 730 days at Heritage I would probably be dead. Heritage saved my life!

Special thanks to Stacy Crandall in Academics. She is one of the main reasons I can read and write. Troy Jackson, Georgia McClain, Mark McClain, Rich Terry, Brenda Johnson, Ron Tuinei and several others for being the most influential people in my life. Thank you to Dr Steve Asteel for not only being a great therapist but for not giving up on me when others did. Thank you for bringing me into your home and showing me what a real family feels like.

Last but not least, I want to thank Jerry Spanos. For not only creating Heritage Schools, Inc. but for never giving up and believing in me.

Thank you to all who helped in my 730 days.